Kaesa

Silly AIM meta/fic in the same off-the-cuff vein as this. Edited slightly. Um. And character death. That's basically the premise.


kaesa: jesus.
kaesa: PP 70 – Wizard Card # 14: Thaddeus Thurkell (1632 – 1692) – Famous for producing seven Squib sons and turning them all into hedgehogs in disgust.
thinkatory: ...
kaesa: I am picturing Helga beating him to death with a shovel.
kaesa: it is a nice image.
thinkatory: Thanks Helga!
( and then it devolved into not really a conversation, or at least not one between me and Kitty )

D: D: D:

...Look, Captain Jack Harkness, intergalactic manwhore, has done some pretty awful things in his long life.

BUT SINCE WHEN DOES HE RAPE PEOPLE?

Is there some part of relevant Whoniverse canon that I am totally missing? If so, could someone please tell me what it is, so that I can KEEP MISSING IT?

(I mean, aside from that thing with Owen in the first episode of Torchwood. That scene is made of ick. And if you agree, don't google for discussion on it, because half the forum threads are full of guys going "lol, that was funny, you guys are taking it too seriously, I wish I had that stuff." I guess this is the Axe/Lynx demographic.)

...Okay, skimming the fic, the author seems to have gotten the Time Agency mixed up with the Rape Agency, and Jack ("Seth") has had some kind of horrible personality transplant and should be on every Sexual Offenders list ever. 0_o Never mind. I did see the Rape/Non-Con warning, but I saw that it was a Big Bang fic (and therefore long) and assumed it had something to do with the plot/character arc.

And that was depressing, so I leave you with this cheering fanart.

So last week I posted about the Archive Of Our Own, which if you missed it is being called AO3 because AOOO sounds like a basset hound. But I didn't really post as a reader. It didn't occur to me because I had just spent several days uploading all of my fanfiction there. (Well, that I still like. I actually do have two Greek mythology fics that I haven't posted there, but the second one is a sequel to the first, which was written in high school and has some gender issues I'm really not proud of.)

Anyway, after all that posting, I had kind of expected people to read my fic, but I hadn't actually gotten around to reading their fic.

And omg you guys, AO3 is great for fic-reading. At least for me.

( AO3 as a reader. )

Anyway. Having said all that, Chapter Seven of Between Here and Now and Forever is posted on:
The Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net
Skyhawke
LiveJournal

In honor of this, ( more YouTube music links! )

So, long time no post! I posted the sixth chapter of my novel-length Founders story on LiveJournal, Skyhawke, FF.N, and the Archive of Our Own, which is now in Open Beta, and which, strictly as a user and not getting into fannish politics or whatever? I fucking love how it's set up. There are a few flaws, but overall it's a really nice way to upload.

( Firstly, the features I like. )

( Things I think other people would like but that I haven't used. )

( Issues I've had. )

Anyway, my stories uploaded there are all at this link.

And in honor of the actual chapter posted, ( some music from YouTube, with accompanying blather. )

I just wanted to say this:

I am watching old Doctor Who episodes in order, and "The Chase" (a First Doctor serial) is the BEST ONE EVAR. It has, in no particular order, Daleks, Dracula, Abraham Lincoln, a Jager inexplicably giving a tour of the Empire State Building, and an OLD MAN VS. EVIL ROBOT CLONE FIGHT TO THE DEATH. WITH CANES. And clicking fungi in the background. It kind of gets slow around the beginning parts with the pathologically stupid desert fish people, but believe me, it's TOTALLY WORTH IT FOR THE OLD MAN FIGHT.

Also recommended for complete crackiness and/or awesomeness (so far): "Planet of Giants," "The Rescue," "The Romans," "The Web Planet," and "The Space Museum." (Although be warned that "The Romans" contains a really terrifying sexual harassment situation played for laughs. They're all somewhat sexist, but that's the worst of it in those episodes, I think. Vicki's awesomeness has been making up for a lot of it for me, so I might not be noticing it as much.)

But seriously, you guys. OLD MAN CANE FIGHT. AWESOME.

So apparently I am a college graduate. B.A. in Environmental Studies, with an Environmental Chemistry concentration. No honors. Fooling around with being a Bio and Chemistry major ruined my GPA, but it led to good things so I won't complain. Although I am disappointed that I don't have a B.S., because it sounds funny and I'm really not mature enough to be a real live adult.

(Oh, and I'm a red belt in karate. That felt like more work, actually. Probably because I got lost on the way to the atheletic club and walked two miles in the wrong direction. Yay Google Maps.)

Um. More later, because I'm exhausted, but please don't ask me "what are your plans now?" because I really don't have any, and I anticipate having to say that eighteen thousand more times before I finally get some. However, I am considering law, because it seems like I could do some good there with my writing skills and scientific knowledge and environmentalism, whereas I don't think I'm really cut out to do scientific research anymore.

Anyway, as I told Kitty, I keep looking at the diploma and thinking "Wow, they put a seal and a ribbon on it and everything. It almost looks like a real degree!" and then remembering, that, um, it is.

I apologize for the total lack of music posts and pretty much anything else lately; I have been consumed with finals. BUT I just got out of my last final exam and now all that stands between me and graduating with a BA in Environmental Studies is a week-sized clump of timey-wimey ...stuff.

I mean, I have other shit to do -- pack, clean room, deal with kvetching parents who want to get the fuck out whining about how Bloomington-Normal has no good restaurants (adults, so spoiled!), convince kvetching parents that I should be allowed to stay for a few minutes longer to say goodbye to all the Environmental Studies people, and figure out how on earth I'm going to be able to serve hot tea and sandwiches to my friends during our hike at Starved Rock. That last one is really the only problem I'm looking forward to solving because if I can do that it will be the epitome of needless luxury that I can actually appreciate.

(Anyway, I think I offended Professor Jahiel by warning her that I might not stay very long after graduation, because of the whole whiny parents deal, but I actually would like to stay. I am being honest here, literally ALL THEY WILL TALK ABOUT at this point is how much they want to get out of Bloomington-Normal quickly. They won't even discuss, like, the dogs. They will always discuss the dogs.)

Also, I got my May Term journal assignments back, which is awesome because I forgot a lot of what I wrote about (a lot of it I now take for granted, actually) and rereading it is awesome, because I completely failed to keep the non-academic journal up. (I think I got halfway through the month. Yup! Detailed entries including drawings of plants up to May 14th, when I realized exhaustion was something to be avoided.)

Anyway, technically I have karate practice mentally scheduled for Two Hours Hence, but Awkward Physics Blue Belt Guy stood me up last time, so I think I'm going to do that tomorrow and today I'll listen to music and write. Or maybe draw. Or both! My Lovecraftian romantic comedy is from three points of view, with text and pictures (See? It's totally Lovecraftian, y'all know my drawing is terrible.), and I need to research postwar fashion and work on my character designs.

...oh yeah, and I didn't eat lunch. Guess I should do that before my stomach rises up and eats me.

...Cassie, I will respond to your email eventually. Sorry. Lunch comes second, triumphant LJ post comes first, sleep or at least brain rest comes third. Haven't read the book, though, alas.

And yes, I will try to make up for the Lost Music Posts. But I'd love it if you suggested themes. And I'd love it if they were easy for me to do. (Not steampunk. I suspect there will be a steampunk music post soonish but I would rather save it for when I'm at my best, and that is not now.)

( Brief spoilerly whine about the Doctor Who Easter special. )

Oh, and there's Amazonfail, of course. I have nothing of import to add, except that if you are boycotting them, you might also want to take a look here. Some notable things owned by Amazon: IMDB, Mobipocket, Audible.com, AbeBooks, and they apparently partially own LibraryThing. I have no personal experience with anyone's recs for alternate internet book retailers, but apparently there is talk at Powell's of having an LGBTQ-themed Amazonfail sale, which suggests that they are at least willing to take advantage of their competitors' craniorectal issues rather than imitate them.

Um. Music post tomorrow, I think. I have the songs picked out but not uploaded or blathered about. Tomorrow is still a weekend for me, though, so it totally counts. I can brighten your Monday with mp3s!

Tomorrow I also have a paper to write on Bellamy Clubs and the Chicago Tribune's frothing hatred of socialism in the late 19th century. As opposed to the Trib's current frothing hatreds! Though, to be fair, they're pretty good about the frothing lately. The sports page is by far the wankiest, they're always getting into it with the Sun Times. But I digress. It shouldn't be as bad as most of my term papers because it's supposed to be much shorter and poor Professor Schultz was like "...but you have enough to write a paper with just that," when I was going ON AND ON about how I wanted to find sources on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court and other early SF novels, could only find tons of articles on the evils of Looking Backward.

Also, he mistook me for a history major. I do not need to switch my major another eight times.

And semi-related, but the reason I am exhausted right now, what is it with everybody and their crazy aunt saying "You know, I need to publish this novel. I KNOW, I WILL SELF-PUBLISH! ...good, now that's over with and I have all these books in my garage! Hey, you, random person on the Internet! How do I sell my books?"

It's not that I'm against self-publishing. I accept that there are situations where it's the only logical choice, even if it isn't your great-grandmother's recipe book. I just don't see why you'd put in the effort to self-publish without either accepting that hardly anybody will hear about your book, or doing some research into what it takes to publicize a book without the backing of a publisher.

Also, uh, you might want to get a blog, or at least an LJ. And for the love of Gutenberg, proofread your website. And make sure the graphics don't suck.

I mean, let's face it, if you're so bad at this that I can give you advice you haven't heard, you are not doing well. I am the girl who doesn't advertise her fanfics in the appropriate communities for fear of seeming egotistical. If I know it, everybody probably knows it.

So, in case anyone was not yet convinced that you could find nearly anything on the internet if you looked hard enough, I bring you something I found on a random GoogleImage search of the quoted phrase "the doctor."

So, I bring you a series of Doctor Who and Torchwood characters (and some OCs, apparently) drawn as the artist thinks they would look if they all happened to be lions. I have to say, I think Jack and the Doctor look all wrong, but Gwen and Martha look very much like themselves. If they were lions. Of course, I am ignoring the sexual dimorphism in lions, particularly with regard to mane and tail tufts. And also the fact that lions don't come in blue. But I think when one is drawing a time-travelling immortal alien who at the moment looks strangely like David Tennant, except when he looked like Christopher Eccleston, or Paul McGann, or -- you get the idea -- these small facts of leonine biology can be safely ignored.

Also, earlier I had been trying to find a URL for that Carl Sagan "Wibbly wobbly timey-wimey ...stuff" icon to show to a friend, so if anyone has that, cool.

ARGH.

Now that that's out of the way. My professor has emailed me asking me to bring in the commented-up copy of my rough draft so she can scan it for her files, because she says she handed it back to me the day before break without having made the copy. The final is due Wednesday at noon. Okay, whatever. That would be totally fine if she, in fact, had handed it back to me. This year my stuff is actually well-organized, so I can confirm that no, I do not have it.

Alas, no such luck. What she did hand back to me was the heavily revised version of the outline, which she still did not like, so I basically have to rewrite the thing anyway and I already have enough shit due this week and argh. ARGH ARGH ARGH.

Okay, I guess that wasn't out of the way.

ARGH.

... guh.

So you know how there are some things you just should not, under any circumstances, GoogleImage?

I have found the opposite of that. 'Mechanical hand' got me this.

It's been a while since anyone has been enough of an asshole in person to instill homicidal rage in me. Thank goodness I was on my way to karate anyway. In karate I get to hit people without them pressing charges, and it gives me time to really understand that violence is not the answer.

So, a public service announcement: any joke where the punchline is that group X will get cancer and die horribly is not funny, and if group X includes one of my loved ones, oh hey! Homicidal rage! But since violence is not the answer, the next time you decide it is funny to follow my coughing, sick, plague-ridden, feverish ass and insist that I stop smoking because you are just so concerned about my health, I am not going to hit you. Instead, I will blow my nose into a tissue, force-feed it to both of you, and see how long it takes you to get as sick as I am. You know, for science. Then, if you don't stop coughing (because coughing is clearly not polite when you're walking by yourself in public) I'm going to track down your mothers and make them breathe asbestos for several days. Then I'll wait. I bet the cancer jokes at their funerals will be hilarious, but they were bringing it upon themselves anyway. If they hadn't raised a couple of assholes like you...

I really really hate people. Did I mention that? Really. Hate.

Some fucker has been buying surveillance equipment with my debit card.

I am not a happy camper.

Occasionally I come across awesome or amusing quotes in my textbooks. I never posted the really amusing one I found freshman year, about the extremely admirable chemist who blew three of his fingers off for science, but more philosophically, my history textbook now notes that "Greatness, one assumes, is distributed randomly across time and space."

There was another one about symbolic fishladders in my Russian environmental politics textbook, but that was mostly just depressing. I just like the mental image of some people looking at a four-dimensional map and noting the random distribution of dots indicating greatness nodes. And I really need to get off my ass and get some Doctor Who icons.

So I had a nice day.

This morning, I woke up actually awake, and after weightlifting, the traffic lights changed as soon as I pressed the button, so I was filled with the urge to shout "BUAHAHA! I CONTROL ALL THE TRAFFIC!" So I did, and after that, the traffic lights behaved for me the entire day. Then in Religion, Mr. Goddesses-Are-Just-Weird gave a spirited and logical and feminism-based attack on Sun Myung Moon/the Unification Church's attitude towards women, which was cheering if confusing. I think my history midterm went well, I drew a pretty good picture of Rowena in Polisci, and on the way to Karate I saw an owl. It was about the size of both my fists together, and I got close enough to grab it (although, for obvious reasons, I did not) before we both decided we had other places to be. Flowers-san let us out early because it's Mardi Gras, and then when I got back, my RA was taking down the bulletin board on the dangers of hookah-smoking, and I learned about the hookah-smoking epidemic that's sweeping the nation. (Okay, not really, but the billboard had baffled me, as I had no idea that there was a hookah bar in Normal that let you in if you were over 18. The more you know!)

Yay. Also, I have accidentally done all of my reading for Polisci two days in advance.

Sometimes the mental image I get when I read Gmail's ads is probably not the one the ad writers were intending:

Someday, I would really like to know why every single Environmental Studies project I'm assigned turns to shit.

Oh, they all go perfectly well. Well, not perfectly. But they all do what they're supposed to do, or rather, I do what I'm supposed to do, and I can write, and I have this ridiculous ability to finish papers just before they're due.

I just end up having to talk about fecal matter a lot. Apparently the universe has a sense of humor even more immature than my own.

Anyway, on the topic of schoolwork, I did my presentation on Wicca last Thursday. I was disappointed in the class, half of which thought Wicca was Satanic before we covered, you know, the actuality of Wicca. (Seriously, wtf. When I was a kid, the topic of "if I stopped being Jewish" came up a lot and Wicca and Baha'i were the two semi-respected religions "good enough" to be not-Jewish for. Maybe when you grow up Christian all your options are other versions of Christianity?) I'm by no means an expert on Wicca, but it miffs me because damn, I try not to assume someone is a Satanist unless, you know, they tell me they are.

Anyway, the crowning moment of wtf came when a guy told us that he thought Wicca was a cult anyway, even if no Satan or brainwashing or suicide-encouraging creepy leaders were involved, because he thought "a female god" was just too weird. That point of view had honestly not occurred to me -- I really like mythology, and the Greek goddesses have always really appealed to me because despite some misogyny in the actual myths, they got to be awesomely kickass -- well, goddesses in general often get to do that, being, you know, goddesses -- and to be honest, I think a female creator deity makes a little more sense than a male creator deity, because your options for creation myths are either Frankenstein-y ("I MADE THE WORLD and gave it LIFE, and all y'all have to OBEY!") or pregnancy (which does not happen to most men and no, fanfiction doesn't count) and pregnancy seems like maybe less of a stretch.

(Although now I want to write a Frankensteiny creator goddess, or maybe one who mixes it up a little and does both.)

Anyway, back to my point: apparently goddesses = CRAZY CULT, even though plenty of intellectually-respected ancient peoples worshipped goddesses as well as gods, and even though there are female saints, and even though goddess-worship doesn't mean you have to do things like give women rights and all that inconvenient shit. (In fact, you can easily make up stories about the goddesses themselves reinforcing misogynist beliefs! See also: Athena's decision in Eumenides vs. Orestes.)

But yeah. I really should have said something to him, but I was a little too horrified to think anything but Kaesa, he is allowed to have an opinion that is different from yours. Even though it's fucking stupid. But later, while I reading feminist blogs, I thought of insults.

Hence my new icon. Argh.