InsaneJournal

It's been a while since anyone has been enough of an asshole in person to instill homicidal rage in me. Thank goodness I was on my way to karate anyway. In karate I get to hit people without them pressing charges, and it gives me time to really understand that violence is not the answer.

So, a public service announcement: any joke where the punchline is that group X will get cancer and die horribly is not funny, and if group X includes one of my loved ones, oh hey! Homicidal rage! But since violence is not the answer, the next time you decide it is funny to follow my coughing, sick, plague-ridden, feverish ass and insist that I stop smoking because you are just so concerned about my health, I am not going to hit you. Instead, I will blow my nose into a tissue, force-feed it to both of you, and see how long it takes you to get as sick as I am. You know, for science. Then, if you don't stop coughing (because coughing is clearly not polite when you're walking by yourself in public) I'm going to track down your mothers and make them breathe asbestos for several days. Then I'll wait. I bet the cancer jokes at their funerals will be hilarious, but they were bringing it upon themselves anyway. If they hadn't raised a couple of assholes like you...

I really really hate people. Did I mention that? Really. Hate.